Numb
by Snorcackle
Summary: Amy recalls the unpleasant events of a day now past. Spoilers for Asylum of the Daleks.


**AN:** Spoilers for Asylum of the Daleks. Oh, for the record, I cried. The first five minutes? The "I love you more" scene? I was just bawling.

* * *

Amy didn't feel sad. She didn't even feel angry anymore. She couldn't feel hope, or relief, or fear. None of the emotions she had expected to flood into her were willing to break down the wall she had just built around herself. She had a nice little wall of emotional safety, and yet she didn't even feel safe. She wasn't sure she particularly wanted to.

She was simply numb.

She knew it was coming. How long she'd known it, she wasn't sure. But it was obvious to her that she couldn't keep dragging Rory along when she knew full well that she couldn't give him what he had wanted.

The tracks where her tears had been had dried up by now, stiffening into little paths that made her cheeks difficult to move. Not that she was trying to move them much. She didn't want to move _anything _much, and couldn't even will herself to get up from the kitchen table except to boil water for another cup of tea. All of her willpower had been used up when she fought back the urge to tell Rory to stop, to come back, to never leave her side. But she _had_ to let him go. She had to _make_ him go, because that was what was best for him and she darn well knew it.

"_Get out." Tears welled up behind her eyes._

_Rory perked his head up in surprise, looking at his wife who had just walked into the room. "I'm sorry, what?" They hadn't been fighting, had they? Wait, did they ever really fight? Oh, God, she'd found someone else, hadn't she? It was the night before their wedding all over again, only, this time, she didn't care if his feelings were hurt._

"_Get out." Her voice cracked –she really hoped he didn't notice. She had to stand her ground. He wouldn't go of his own accord unless he believed she didn't love him anymore. "This whole thing, it just isn't working. You and I both know it." That didn't make much sense, did it?_

"_Do we? I wasn't aware."_

Amy choked back the tears that came flooding out as she began to remember the scene that had unfolded in the same room she was sitting in now. If ever there was a day when she wished time could be rewritten, it was today.

_Tears were coming whether she wanted them to or not. "We don't want the same things anymore."_

"_Oh, oh!" He paused as he rose from the kitchen table. "By 'the same things,' you mean that you want to keep waiting for the day when travelling in the TARDIS becomes normal again, while I want to move on with life?" His voice was rising. She didn't hear this very often. Actually, the only person she'd heard him yell like this at was… "It's the Doctor, isn't it?"_

_This accusation took her aback. Was he still jealous? "Don't you dare say that. Don't you even think about bringing it back to him. He's got nothing to do with this, and you know it." Her voice trembled as she said this, and she knew her willpower wouldn't last much longer._

"_Oh, alright." It killed her to hear the anger in his voice, even though she'd willingly brought it on. "Glad to know it's just me, then. I'm not good enough. The boy who waited two-thousand years is getting kicked out of his house and home by the girl who forgot who he was. Lovely." The Pandorica card? Oh, that just wasn't fair. "But, you know what the worst part is?"_

_Amy just shook her head as he stormed towards her. She wasn't going to move, no matter what. Still, she couldn't actually bring herself to say the words. Anything to disturb the positions of her face, and he would see just how bad she was hurting._

"_The worst part is knowing that I'll never stop thinking about you. I'll never stop remembering those two-thousand years, and I'll never stop remembering this moment." His eyes were fogging up with tears now. Damn. "I'd just like to know a couple of things. First," he said, holding up a finger as she opened her mouth, "why did you wait so long? Could've saved us the trouble of divorce papers." Tears were streaming down his face now, his voice and his resolve cracking just a tad. "Second, what about our life hasn't lived up to your expectations? Did we have to have a baby? Oh, no, we did that. What about time travel? That too. Oh, I know, were we supposed to have known each other since we were kids, or were we supposed to meet suddenly and immediately realized we were supposed to get married? Because, if we're really keeping track of parallel worlds and all, we've done both of those."_

Amy broke into sobs over her tea. She didn't even care; no one was there to see her anymore. When she used to get upset, she would turn to Rory, but she had just blown that up in front of her face. Her sobs turned into absolute wails as she waved her arm across the table, sending the mug flying to the floor with an almost satisfying _crash_. She was sad. She was angry. Dammit, she should be.

_She couldn't even look up at him as he grabbed his coat from the rack and slammed the door open. It was her own fault, wasn't it? But it was a mistake, too. "Rory!" Her stone exterior broke. She couldn't even hold it in as her knees moved of their own accord to chase after him, but to no avail. He had no desire to listen right then. "Rory, I still love you."_

"_Do you?" He turned around, his eyes fixed in a glare and his hands thrown up in the air. For the first time in his life, he seemed genuinely scary, causing Amy to stop in her tracks. His anger was to an absolute extreme, and Amy's tears could only get worse if they started spouting like a cartoon fountain. "I somehow doubt it."_

_She could keep up with him as he ducked into the car and drove off. She knew he couldn't hear her, but she still could not help herself from whispering, "Come back," as the car disappeared down the road._

Amy's head quickly dropped to the table in front of her as her entire body shook with sobs. This stung, and Rory hadn't even known the worst part. No matter what he felt right now, it could not even possibly compare to pain of losing _him_.


End file.
